Nature

Or Mother Nature -or how about motherfucking nature?. Somewhere ,someone is telling us yet again how wonderful nature is. This usually comes from people who haven't had close contact with nature, and have no idea what it's really all about.

Nature is about death, destruction and mayhem. Nature's sole objective is to destroy everything so effectively that literally nothing exists. People say -oh but nature just is - just is what? don't make me laugh, nature wants YOU and everything you hold dear dead and as scattered about as possible. Why is this? It's called the law of increasing entropy. This law basically states that nature's intent is to create as much chaos as possible. This also means that every effort to gain order and control is continuously subject to attack by motherfucking nature. It means that all our hard work is being constantly and meticulously destroyed 24 hours of everyday for eternity. That's not only because of the entropy law, its also because mother nature is the laziest piece of shit ever known. Thats why nature's laws always involve relationships and movements that involve minimal everything.If there is a more scenic route, don't take it, if we could give some useful energy without pulling miraculous feats, don't give it. In fact nature says fuck you on almost every single thing and to every single person -good,bad,young,old,poor,rich. Oh but look what we get from nature - you mean what we spent millions of hours and millions of lives prying from the mean motherfucker. And then everything comes with a catch -lets mine coal -oh people seem to be dying down there. Lets create fire -oh there goes the neighbourhood. Lets make ships - what the fuck is this iceberg doing here? Let's do nothing -shit , now we die of cold and starvation. Then you get the so-called wonders of nature and how we must respect them. Sure we respect a thunderstorm -what are we supposed to do? You get that lightning effect beloved of photographers anxious to portray pretty pictures of dangerous light forking about all over the place- you see that's nature - fork about all over the place - don't do anything useful like strike a tax office or a politician straight on the head or loud mouth bitches. NO -lets put no thought and just fire away - lets get those pedestrians in african countries, dashing for shelter under a tree. Don't stop now lets have a golfer massacre. What about destroying these homes here... the ones least protected.How long did you say it took to build?Fuck you, have another bolt. Oh there are young children in there? have another two bolts and I got one spare for you if you try and save them. And what about this whole weather scene -always raining in the wrong place, never enough rain for the hard done bys. Heck and there are cars about - lets throw a hailstorm into the party and fuck up the cars - what do I care I am just doing my thing ,making sure not a single transgression of even the slightest rule is got away with. Weather changes go from one extreme, to another and then keep you guessing. Oh here's a tornado -yeah storm chasers bubbling away with excitement while in the distance buildings catch fire, electrical shorts carry on their happy dance and... for maximum effect look at those cows spinning in the sky. Yeah I respect it - on the other hand tell it to fuck off And then because we have rain we get rivers -great swathes of muddy water carrying shit from one place to the next. Places where dead bodies end up, kid's drown and smaller fish get eaten by bigger fish -they block progress forward and get silted up. Its the same with trees. The only good tree is a tree converted to furniture or paper or whatever useful thing the trees and fucking nature didn't know about.

Having failed spectacularly to solve the immortality issue in a way that doesn't autoengage destruction mode(sex) nature seeks vengeance by showing total indifference to all and sundry. Never mind if your are a great guy with a head full of great things to come, there is good ole nature banging away in the background messing with an artery here , a brain cell there, a germ bug everywhere. And then that's you gone - well done , a death a day makes nature a happy chappy. Nothing (literally)makes nature a happy chappy - nature is mindlessness itself.
Here's a good trick...let's create nice verdant grazing lands, surround it with lush, rich scenery, lure everyone in and then just when everybody is happy let's blow the whole fucking lot away, and dump boiling rock over everyone and everything and then we can call ourselves a VOLCANO. Or what about that other April fool laugh - the earthquake...build,build,build, work,work,work then zzcrack,fwam,blam - ruins. What fun - get some respect boy. You want death watch this ...its a tsunami . Not content with fucking up the scenery, nature has to fuck around under the sea as well - lets have a world heavyweight pushing contest underwater. The winner can prove that total surprise is a winning strategy everytime. Oh and then there is life. Somehow I am not sure that life and nature are quite compatible, the one being mindful and occasionally constructive, the other being the exact opposite - not one meaningful, well intentioned ,compassionate move anywhere at any time. On the other hand look at life - we are supposed to fall on our knees and be ecstatic about being born full of the joys of spring and end up decrepit, diseased and DEAD. And, this is the good bit, you know it's going to happen. Isn't that something. Of course you attempt to distract yourself but there is no escape - you see we can't possibly have an arrangement of atoms that have a PURPOSE . So let's call in the entropy police and make sure that somewhere somehow it will go wrong. Nothing escapes , not even a rock just sitting there minding it's own business - oh no - got to wear down that rock, we'll try baking it, not working? let's throw in abrasion or perhaps we can wash it away, after all we got zillions of years to do this. Then we get told off for letting another plane fall out the sky - man must leave alone -yeah sure. Who created a planet so big that a day walking trip doesn't cover it?
Let's leave it all to nature - let's see what kind of housing she provides. In other words fuckall happens unless we miserable humans do it. We are here to sort that mean spirited shit out and help those poor sods in the animal kingdom - because we don't see anyone fixing their broken limbs and all other manner of hapless shit foisted on them in the name of life. You know feeding -because we can never get enough - fucking because shitface never got the immortality thing right and fighting - because we need to fuck and the females never ever got into the spirit of the thing and throughout were only impressed with power or wallets or worse- personality. You know that feature that relies on how many lies you can tell convincingly or how many laughs you can generate per second?
Oh and then there is the SCENERY. Look - it's the SEA. Look, there are people being eaten by sharks - another gift. They are drowning too - and those there - they are burning in the sun.
Look - it's a mountain range -let's climb up and fall to our deaths or get stuck and risk other people's lives. This ones covered in snow - let's whizz along and slam into a tree - or perhaps we can jump off the mountain.
Anything you get from that miserable shit - you pay and pay forever.
Fuck nature - it's our job and our solemn duty. We'll teach it to condemn innocent planets to spin around in the same, endlessly boring way - yeah worse than a bloody government - do this do that and no exceptions excuses ,no plea bargaining, nothing - zip, fuck all - ah shut up.