Fear of Flying

Some people live in stark terror of setting foot inside an aircraft. I mean it's not as if it isn't bad enough with all the airport shit,ticket woes and whatever. But this is a real problem - I know - I used to suffer. I mean here am I all wealthy and healthy and twitching like a leaf in my passenger seat. And nothing helps - drinks,drugs,girls - nothing. It's just terror all the way till the bloody thing comes to a stop at your final destination where you can sit and worry about the return flight. I got over it - let me tell you how.
The first thing to get out of your head is the thought that we are not meant to do this - if god intended us to fly he would give us wings - all that crap. We are not meant to do a lot of things. We are not even meant to be here. You can tell that by the number of people who die every single day. We are flying in the face of nature and that's the point. Once you board that plane you accept you are challenging the status quo and flying the flag for humanity. You know full well that nature will do it's best to fuck your journey up but you just shrug your shoulders. Once seated uncomfortably in your sardine can section you now must realize that the chances of you getting to your destination are quite good. This is pure economics. Airlines who regularly deposit passengers in unexpected places, in several pieces, do not stand much chance of lasting very long. Now for the important bit - take no comfort from statistics. Statistics are a mug's game. What you are looking for is stone cold certainty and you are not going to find it in statistics. Even if the airline is old and had no crashes, something in your brain will nag at you and wonder if this will be the first. It's no good telling yourself it won't happen -it may, it probably will but not today. Instead you calmly accept that you have, in full knowledge of the risks, chosen to fly because you intend to get somewhere , sometime soon for your own good reasons and this is man's solution which you heartily endorse. Never mind that nature is keeping an eye out for the slightest fuckup that we measly humans may make. You just tell her worship to fuck off.
Oh and if you do go down, rest assured it will not be in vain. We have a habit of improving things. Your prang will be thoroughly investigated and other lives will be saved. Cold comfort I know, I mean us first for fuck's sake.