SOFTWARE-The new casinos

Have you noticed how much use is made of computers lately? Computers usually need software. Now I, as a software engineer of thirty years experience, familiar with assembler,fortran,basic,c,c++ and that panacea for all ills obfuscation orientated programming, would like to discuss some issues relating to software. Now first and foremost software is eternal-it runs forever and will not degrade. It can crash a million times but it will reliably crash as many times as you run it. The equipment the software runs on is more likely to disintegrate than the software cease to be.
So you take a mechanical object-subject it to a stress test or two and then it breaks. You know what it can do and you can now decide what to do with it including throw it away.
Lets try the same thing with software-look we did this ,we did that, we did the other and altogether we did it a million times and hey presto it all worked PERFECTLY.After a suitably approved signing off process laboriously worked out by bored clerks its ready to go controlling something physical but nevermind even if its just the world's worst operating system its off up and running and CRASH the whole fucking thing brings a zillion dollars worth of investment, equipment, convenience,service etc to an instantaneous halt-usually with a message that only god himself understands or something really useful such as "unable to process request".
Now how can this be, all those tests etc(well maybe not so much anymore). Its because software in order to be tested thoroughly needs about a million years before we can declare-yes it truly works under ALL conditions. Software designers,programmers,testers have the same thing thing in common-they usually write shit and then let the customer find out about it. This gives them a job for life. You first create a fuckup, sell it, then charge to fix it whilst fucking it up once again ad infinitum. Now none of this is deliberate, but what I am saying is this whereas your old fashioned cable could be tested to destruction with near certainty,NO piece of software can, NONE,NOTHING,ABSOLUTELY ZERO. So because of this we replace our shitty will wear out in three years cable with software which could go bang NOW,JUST NOW,AT ANY TIME or NEVER. And unlike the cable which can be improved-software is feature upgraded or just plain FIXED which in turn introduces a new set of possible problems. So for example a manufacturer of quality such as Mercedes Benz who have a history of marvellous engineering now use software written by the same fools who write software for FORD or whoever. Mercedes know FUCKALL about software. So now we have this new die-by-wire effect for example. My brother tested an e-class and decided to floor the accelerator at the traffic light(he lives in South Africa, it is important for survival purposes to be able to floor the accelerator) response- NOTHING.
So lets try it again at the next traffic light,response-NOTHING. Now the salesman gives it a go, response-NOTHING. So he concludes it is a SOFTWARE fault. This means no mechanic can fix it,and no one can be sure that the same thing doesn't happen when an overtaking maneuver is performed or in fact in any situation where acceleration is required. In other words its a gamble, nothing short of a fucking pull of the handle on a slot machine. And if you hit the jackpot-you DIE. Now software by itself is fine(so what if it miscalculates all the expenses or allocates the wrong part or whatever) but you see all these things that control equipment require communications software. Now, I happen to be an expert in communications software and let me tell you the most unreliable aspect of communications software is that it doesn't always communicate and if it does , not always reliably and if reliably, not always in time. It's the flakiest kind of software there is and NO advances have been made worthy of the name shitfuck. The computer industry is full of guru's always advocating this,that or another as the FINAL solution.
There is no FINAL solution. Now lets examine what this means in practice, it means that all that equipment out there controlled by computer is almost impervious to scheduled maintenance in terms of software. The threat of failure is constant and ongoing. You can only use a cable so many times but you can run a buggy program a million times. So in other words the rules of casino slots now govern most of the world. The newest the latest the greatest can go phut at ANY moment- You NEVER know. In general,unlike engineers, software programmers dont improve much. And the more tricks they try the worse it gets. No course,no methodology, no nuttin makes a shit programmer good. Now what about experience, yes but just as you do get experienced some new fad comes out and management with its eternal inability to think will undo everything and off you go down the new path to hades. The computer world is full as I have said, of must haves,must do,new fads,final solutions,latest crazes,best language ever,charletons,university theoreticians proclaiming that this that or another is THE answer.
If anyone knows anything about what I am saying then just think realtime systems.
In anycase the software in games probably is the best software I know. Windows is the worst, messages for every bloody twitch of the mouse,pointless questions relating to if you REALLY want to do this that or the other. What is about America? Why is everyone treated like mindless babies(sorry babies-you do have minds-its just rhetorical).
Beware the era of computers, snooping is rife, clerks input informatin in real time and waste your time in doing so. Its ALL bullshit. Just a final remark or two.
Once upon a time I owned two luxury cars one an old relatively unsophisticated epitomy of older luxury,the other a modern full of electronic wunderkind. Now my old vehicle had a panel with seperate lights which illuminated if something drastic had happened and if it did happen they stayed on till it was fixed. The wunderkind had a message readout system(unreadable in bright sunlight incidentally). The following problem existed-the sump bolts had not been tightened sufficiently by the wunderkind official dealer cost you a fortune mechanics for some reason. So away goes the oil(slowly) but since we drive off park in the same place on a driveway designed to camouflage such things we don't notice. Sure enough a messsage pops up relating to low oil and then gets overwritten by important messages relating to your seatbelt,your lack of proper grooming,insufficient make-up etc. And it goes on like this until alert as ever I finally spot the oil.
Oh yes, in order to comply with yet another fear ridden element of American society, my wunderkind was equipped with a setup that left some circuits active after you had closed the door and left. Eventually the battery went flat and the experts couldn't find the fault for love nor money(which they preferred). After a while I correlated this to rain. So they examined the main board and sure enough it was FUCKED. Now being fucked costs money(as any married man or frequenter of prostitutes can tell you) Nowadays I believe that paying for sex is a criminal action worthy of being placed on the sex offenders register-so all men will be on there soon-what use that is is unclear but a hell of a lot of prostitutes are going to be out of work soon. Maybe the men can make a DONATION. Anyway another special USA only feature is doors locking when you drive away. Now my very old jaguar had an inertia detect system which unlocked everything on collision. This particular vehicle had the design that everything was locked and STAYED locked,collision or no collision. Unfortunately this particular vehicle had been involved in an accident and was laying on its side ON FIRE. So I and other men rushed to right the vehicle, over the protests of the women standing around squealing about how dangerous it was and the passengers may be hurt by our effort(the fact that they could burn to death had somehow escaped them) anyway we right the car and the FUCKING DOORS won't open thanks to this special feature from babyland. Eventually we got the keys out through the sunroof and opened the doors from outside. HAPPY ENDING. (Btw this feature is in active use in South Africa to prevent hijacking which is much more common than accidents although these are unusually high.
So to conclude, FUCK electronics in cars, FUCK computers, FUCK software and FUCK programmers. In fact FUCK everything for good measure. Casino's RULE.